Flying tips

I watched United 93 last night. I naturally was welling up with emotion. Such a tragic loss, but it did set me off on a loop.

We've all been on planes, and we've all had to sit there whilst the nice lady tells us to evacuate the plane and how to correctly blow into a whistle on a life jacket. All rather tedious and boring. I can't remember when I've got on a plane and actually bothered to listen. I always find the 'helpful' leaflet on how to maintain the brace position and to make sure I am not wearing heels when getting on an inflatable slide rather amusing. I like to think that Tyler Durden was a bit right when he said that the oxygen masks are merely there to make sure we are high in the event of eneviatable death. I'd rather go out high than screaming at the top of my lungs.

Which brings me to my point. Why the hell do they bother giving us life jackets? I can't think of a single air disaster where life jackets have even been used. Why? What use when it comes to a real life situation do they provide? As far as I am concerned the answer is none. Very rarely does a plane hurtling towards the sea land horizontal. Usually the plane sinks to the bottom, in which case you'll find drowning on the death certificates. Which means, these life jackets are only useful when landing and by landing I mean, gently.

When that plane landed in the Hudson, yeah ok, they may of been useful then, but by and large, most of the time, lets say 99% of the time, life jackets are pointless. Usually any sort of air disaster starts off with the plane high in the sky and then comes crashing down. So why the hell give us life jackets? It assumes that planes are constantly over water and are not going to be crashing into the ground. Most air disasters happen over land, which immediately makes a life jacket redundant. There is no point calling them a life vest when they are more likely to be the last thing the person is wearing when their body is found.

So I had a thought, why not provide something more useful? Like a parachute, or a modified version. At least that is going to give people a bit of hope before they go through the pearly gates at 600mph. At least a parachute can be useful on water and land. Of course attach some sort of bounacy aid, in case of a water landing, but it at least gives this new life vest a chance.

With a parachute, you can jump out regardless of the situation and have a better chance of survival. Sure, people would need to be trained in how to use them, but it's simmple. Hurtle towards the ground (screaming if you want), until a built in guage tells you it's safe to deploy it. Then roll when you hit the ground... simples.

Ok sure, you may say, you'll pass out when you are really high in the sky, but I'd rather that, than watch the ground get bigger at a ridiculous speed in my window whilst I am strapped into a chair. At least then, I felt like I actually make a concious effort and took responsibility for myself rather than in the hands of some pilot I don't even know the name of.

You may come back at me with, but I may get sucked into the engine, but hey these are all maybes, but at least it's not a certainty, unlike your certain to die if you stay in a plane going two times the speed of sound, hurtling through the sky, with it's nose aimed at the ground.

Please mind the gap

So I was originally going to write a post about how I get annoyed at morons who stand on the wrong side of the escalators. The ones, who stand there, look around and see a queue standing behind them, and in front of them the escaltor is empty. It surprises me how the little neurons in their heads don't fire up, and give a response of "I'm a total jack ass clearly these people are in a rush, they are Londoners of course, I'd better be useful and move the fuck over!". Now everyone behind him is thinking why is he not moving the fuck over!

I experience this all the time, and I can't imagine England is the only country that has escalators on the underground. I know for a fact they have escaltors on at least the Montreal metro. Now a tourist can't plead pig ignorance, because this same simple norm is repeated in Montreal too, and therfore I've decided is repeated the world over. Well we Englishmen are known to be able to create a line even when a line isn't needed, so in some more barbaric countries this act of courtesy may not extend there... I'll say the USA purely because it's a pretty screwed up place anyways. It's simple, stand on the right if you want to pretend you aren't a scummy Londoner who rushes everywhere, and run/walk on the left if you think your time is too precious to have to wait a whole minute for a tube.

So yesturday I went to meet some friends, and I felt like I wanted to shoot myself. Not because my friends are that soul killing, no the tube was a nightmare. London has got to be one of the most depressing places on earth during rush hour. Using the tube during this frenzy has got to be one of the worst ways I spend my time. What annoys me is that your packed in so tightly, yet some blonde haired bitch seems to think this is the best place to read a book. And obviously she can't have the book shooved in her face, so of course she extends her arm to a distance that suits her comfortably, while all the people around her would rather shoove the book up her. Seriously, the train is massively packed, and they want to read?? It's find if your sitting down, but not when you are standing up and 20 people are within your personal space, one of them being me.

Also, all the tube lines have their various colours. So why is the Central Line (Aka the red one on a tube map), replacing the red seats with blue ones???

Domestic Goddess? Nah- I'll pass you on!

For the first time in my life, laziness has actually screwed me over and I am not proud....my favourite dress is now lying in some landfill site in Newham.

I've managed to get through life being pretty lazy. I can count on one hand the number of times I have made a bed, and the same goes for having used a washing machine. Sadly I can't feine ignorance, I do know how to do both these things, but luckily the magic pixie fairies do these things for me. I made my bed twice in the first year of university. Yup twice, and I didn't even bother getting an undersheet for many months, it was only after a friend kept saying it was disgusting that I got one. I can make a bed, I just don't want to. Given that I am the only person sleeping in that bed too, I don't see why I should bother making it if it doesn't bother me. Being a domestic goddess could be my forte, if I cared.

So I get back from my travels around Canada and The USA and of course, after nearly two months EVERYTHING has to go into the wash. Que me walking around in cocktail dresses for a few days, and clothes that clearly hadn't seen the light of day in years. And with good reason to.

So on the rare occasion I am sitting there in the living room, enjoying a bit of Friends on the old soap box, there I see it. Looking into the conservatory, a whole row of dripping wet clothes, all hung up, and all purple. YES Purple! Everything was dyed purple!!! I run into there and see to my utter horror that it included my favourite, extremely delicate, very expensive dress!

Employing the knowledge I had of bleach, I ran out to spend a whole 91p on the cheapest bottle of bleach in Co-Op, and come back to fill a bucket with boiling hot water, and half a bottle of the stuff and dropped one of the dresses in. Now, I told friends my plans and they believed it wouldn't work. Well I can safely say, my once white dress that went a horrible shade of mauve is now whiter than white, even if it does smell very much of lime zest bleach!

So here comes the crux, the all important using of the washing machine. I pretty much figured my favourite dress in the whole wide world couldn't be saved, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to do justice to it, and damn well try! I did the only thing I could think of (which turns out to be wrong), and shooved it back in the washing machine on the hottest setting possible and ran several cycles until I admitted defeat. Yes, I used a washing machine, all by myself! No I did not fill the room with soapy suds (I did however use a ridiculous amount of vanish so the entirety of the washing machine drum was filled with bubbles with one single flimsy dress swimming around in it), no I did not have water draining all over the floor, and no the colour of my dress did not improve.

So adios fine friend, I shall lament the many great memories we shared :-(

Stars

I am very much a city girl. I live in London. I live in a very polluted city, and as any Londoner will tell you, we don't get stars.

I sat outside on my own by the lake in La Motte tonight. That in itself was rather beautiful, watching the sky get darker, and the waves quickly but silently hitting the edge. It was so peaceful. Well maybe, I had music blasting out of my laptop.

I went out a lil later with just a torch, and omg there were so many stars! I could see a satellite going across the sky and a shooting star! How lucky am I! I never get to see those things. The last time was 4 years ago in Argentina! There were so many stars it was truely beautiful.

It makes me feel so humble.

It has now been a year since Michael's death.

A year ago, I said to myself there is no way I would ever step foot in Texas...

Well somehow, not only did I step foot in Texas, but I ended up being here on his anniversary! And I am here for one night only... what are the chances!

I feel sadness that he is gone, and anger at how fucked up Texas is, and the court system.

But I am happy he is in a better place.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss him, or let a day go by where he isn't thought of.

He was innocent. But if his death sparks positive changes in the criminal system, then he wouldn't of died in vain.

karma

I hurt someone really close to me a while ago. Someone who loved me and was willing to do anything to make me happy. He was perfect and never did anything wrong. He didn't deserve what I did to him, and he never will.

I abused the responsibility I had over someone's emotions and will forever regret that. It's not nice to be treated appallingly when you have not deserved it.

I suppose right now karma is doing the same thing back to me. I did nothing wrong and have been treated like shit for it. You try to be nice and good and don't make the same mistakes but karma will still bite you. I know how it feels to be hurt when you didn't warrant it.

worth.

I keep having to be reminded about how much I am worth. Not that I don't think I am not worth much. But every now and then I forget. I know I am priceless and as such deserve the best, and shouldn't settle for anything less.

A very wise relative reminded me that you shouldn't make excuses for people. If someone believes and knows you are worth the effort then they will make it....

I get given tonnes of advice all the time, it's no surprise that I am not very good at making decisions about things.

I am lucky to be sourrounded by a great bunch of people who clearly care about me, my happines and overall general wellbeing. I am grateful that they make time to go out of their way to help me, and I am forever indebted to them.

I am grateful to be sourrounded by a lot of love and great friendships.