Flying tips

I watched United 93 last night. I naturally was welling up with emotion. Such a tragic loss, but it did set me off on a loop.

We've all been on planes, and we've all had to sit there whilst the nice lady tells us to evacuate the plane and how to correctly blow into a whistle on a life jacket. All rather tedious and boring. I can't remember when I've got on a plane and actually bothered to listen. I always find the 'helpful' leaflet on how to maintain the brace position and to make sure I am not wearing heels when getting on an inflatable slide rather amusing. I like to think that Tyler Durden was a bit right when he said that the oxygen masks are merely there to make sure we are high in the event of eneviatable death. I'd rather go out high than screaming at the top of my lungs.

Which brings me to my point. Why the hell do they bother giving us life jackets? I can't think of a single air disaster where life jackets have even been used. Why? What use when it comes to a real life situation do they provide? As far as I am concerned the answer is none. Very rarely does a plane hurtling towards the sea land horizontal. Usually the plane sinks to the bottom, in which case you'll find drowning on the death certificates. Which means, these life jackets are only useful when landing and by landing I mean, gently.

When that plane landed in the Hudson, yeah ok, they may of been useful then, but by and large, most of the time, lets say 99% of the time, life jackets are pointless. Usually any sort of air disaster starts off with the plane high in the sky and then comes crashing down. So why the hell give us life jackets? It assumes that planes are constantly over water and are not going to be crashing into the ground. Most air disasters happen over land, which immediately makes a life jacket redundant. There is no point calling them a life vest when they are more likely to be the last thing the person is wearing when their body is found.

So I had a thought, why not provide something more useful? Like a parachute, or a modified version. At least that is going to give people a bit of hope before they go through the pearly gates at 600mph. At least a parachute can be useful on water and land. Of course attach some sort of bounacy aid, in case of a water landing, but it at least gives this new life vest a chance.

With a parachute, you can jump out regardless of the situation and have a better chance of survival. Sure, people would need to be trained in how to use them, but it's simmple. Hurtle towards the ground (screaming if you want), until a built in guage tells you it's safe to deploy it. Then roll when you hit the ground... simples.

Ok sure, you may say, you'll pass out when you are really high in the sky, but I'd rather that, than watch the ground get bigger at a ridiculous speed in my window whilst I am strapped into a chair. At least then, I felt like I actually make a concious effort and took responsibility for myself rather than in the hands of some pilot I don't even know the name of.

You may come back at me with, but I may get sucked into the engine, but hey these are all maybes, but at least it's not a certainty, unlike your certain to die if you stay in a plane going two times the speed of sound, hurtling through the sky, with it's nose aimed at the ground.