Quick someone get me a cucumber!

For once I decided on this rather noisy night (I have DeadMau5 blaring out of an amp) I would empty my junk mail. Needless to say there was a ridiculous amount of junk emails concerning the most pressing matter of extending my penis with a so called 'penis pump'. For years one of these adverts has landed in my junk mail every day and not once have I felt the desire to open one, not even out of curiosity mainly for the fear my computer will be riddled with various slugs,snails, viruses, trojans and other annoying pests. That may not happen if I open one, but I have no interest in finding out.

Either way, a rather curious email dropped into my university address which made me think those emails weren't just a load of bullshit where you part with your well earned money, and they send you some hot peppers to rub all over your dick to make the thing swell up and therefore be all 'pumped' up.

Without going into too many specifics they were looking for volunteers (male obviously) who clearly didn't mind getting their cocks out in the name of science, to see why some men are satisfied with the size of their male organs and others not....and more importantly for people who aren't satisifed, treatments to improve their satisfaction. Anyone thinking of that Satisfaction song by Benni Benassi? Nope? Just me then.

The lucky participants would have their penis measured erect and unerect...and assuming there will be no hot nurse about, you are supplied with a porn movie for the latter part. However I'm guessing it will be a male who then measures the length and girth of your shaft, which makes me think that the second that guy walks in, that thing is going to deflate... and quickly. Oh and you get £10 for your help! For those people who aren't happy, they can receive counselling and the use of a penile extender.

All of this makes me wonder, why don't these scienists send out a junk email selling the use of a penis pump, see who responds, and those desperate enough can be included. In my opinion it kills two birds with one stone. The scientists actually get a bunch of guys who are that bothered by the size of their little man they have searched out for answers on the internet, and the men well they may actually feel like men after all the extending!

But surely aren't all men told that it's not about the length...it's what you can do with it that counts ;-)