Humpty Dumpty had a great fall....

1) Well I thought I'd be cleaver and uprooted my spring onions and put them in some water in a jar on my window sill. Two weeks later I just have soggy spring onions that haven't grown at all sitting in some murky wrong smelling water...

2) I saw a fire engine going straight across wanstead flats (which is a bunch of fields). Now, there is a road that runs right next to the flats, and the truck was not that far from it. Now, this would JUST about me acceptable if it's lights were going, but they weren't. So all I can assume is, either the fire fighters wanted a bit of a laugh going over bumpy fields, or they were just lazy. I'm going with the latter...

3) It turns out that the least politically correct place in the land, is the bar up at The House of Lords. I kid you not. Some of the very very wrong jokes that echo through those walls....

4) I'm fucking bored. I've read all the books I own....